Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
