at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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