Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
