I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
