she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
