please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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