and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
