listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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