So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
