Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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