She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
