I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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