So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
