Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
