Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
