operation harelip BJ is a go
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
