That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
