we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
