there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
