dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
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i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
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We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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