Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have fence marks all over my body
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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