Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
false alarm, still single
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize