i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize