I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
