It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
