Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize