if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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