I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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