Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
