The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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