I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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