don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
