singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
