I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Your penis caused this!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
