you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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