My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
