Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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