Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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