you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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