Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize