i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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