I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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