don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have so many feelings about this burrito
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
