So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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