Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
