he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
