Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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