True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
