i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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