we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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