just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he had hair everywhere except his balls
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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