I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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