Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
