My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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