Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
