Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Randomize
