I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
