She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
