I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
