Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
