Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
